I am a female bodybuilder.

Wait, let me explain…

I’m actually an aspiring figure competitor.

The bodybuilding division features the really “big” women — those with the largest muscles. Following that is the physique division, and then figure. Those with the “smallest” muscles would be in the bikini division.

So I won’t actually be that big. In fact, it’s really more like an optical illusion. I’ll be getting smaller, and my muscles will therefore appear bigger.

It’s a weird subculture. I don’t identify with it. You have to get spray-tanned and wear high heels, makeup, and jewelry. You strut around in a bikini.

It’s probably more like a beauty pageant than a sport.

Yeah, it’s really not me; It’s not me at all.

But it is.

My name is Krista Schnell, and I am an aspiring female bodybuilder. I plan to compete in a figure competition, based on what’s possible given my current musculature.

I’m at the gym every day, working to at least maintain, and hopefully build, muscle. I love making gains and feeling strong. I get excited when my muscles appear larger and more defined than yesterday.

I’m not worried about getting “too big” because I don’t even know what that means.

I’m going to get spray-tanned to show off my musculature. I’m going to wear jewelry, makeup, and rock some high heels. I’m even going to wear a kick-ass bikini because that’s what figure competitors do.

I’m going to compete to win, just like any sport.

This is me. I am a female bodybuilder.